Happy Ending

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you, never try to trim your own bangs, and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it-- the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts; through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment, you never gave up hope."

Happy Halloween

"How do you do this, Ted?  How do you sit out here all night, in the cold, and still have faith that your pumpkin's going to show up?"
"Look, I know the odds are the love of my life isn't going to magically walk though that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning.  But it seems as nice a spot as any to just.. you know, sit and wait."
--How I Met Your Mother

Dents

"I'll cover the security deposit [when Ted, Marshal and Lily are moving out of their apartment].  I'm glad to, because every dent in that place represents a memory that I'll cherish forever." --Ted Mosby

Heartbeat

"I've got a story and I'm trying to tell it right"

He is We + Jimmy Wong

Great song and even better combo:)

One Chance

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

--Unknown

Six Words

It's been awhile.  Working + school + LSAT + everything else has kept me pretty busy.  But, once again, I found myself missing this blog.  I'm going to try to get back into it slowly, just posting some quotes and short thoughts.  Love, Lauren

"As he listened, Tom began to realize that these stories weren't routinely told. These were stories one had to earn. He could feel the wall coming down. He wondered if anyone else had made it this far. Which is why the next six words changed everything."
-- (500) Days of Summer

"Reblog"

I have been catching up on old shows that I couldn't watch during the school year. Although "Ugly Betty" is honestly a Mexican soap opera, the story is decent, the clothes are fun, and sometimes there is a good quote.
In the show, Betty starts a blog with the sole intention of inspiring one person. I had to steal this piece she wrote on goodbyes. Although I am extremely thankful that I have not had to say a "permanent" goodbye in a long time, short-term goodbyes seem quite constant in my life, so this quote feels right.

I've had to say goodbye more times than I've liked, but everyone can say that. And no matter how many times we do it, even when it's for the greater good, it still stings. And though we'll never forget what we've given up, we owe it to ourselves to keep moving forward. What we can't do is live our lives always afraid of the next goodbye, because chances are they're not going to stop. The trick is to recognize when a goodbye can be a good thing; when it's a chance to start again.

--Betty Suarez

Pause

I swear I will blog soon. In the meantime, enjoy another piece from Goodmorningandgoodnight which pictures a scene from an incredible movie with an incredible song. :]
**"You Make"**

Postscript

The previously mentioned 'good news' will be revealed soon but not tonight.
No one tells you how quickly two years passes.  Well, they do but who believes them?  Sophomore year is officially complete.  My parents and I finished packing up my apartment just five hours ago.
Move out was incredibly stressful (surprised?) as everyone was exhausted from finals and emotionally empty.  But with the help of mom, dad, Mike and Matt we made the deadline (thanks all!).
I should be sleeping but I am just not ready.  And I am making a conscious effort to blog semi-daily when I have the time.  Now that school is over, time seems to be in abundance.
This isn’t going to be the “this was a tough year but here’s why it was awesome” post.  This is just me blabbing on while everyone is asleep.  My exhaustion, the dark, cold room and the sound of the Fray + my keyboard quietly clicking combine to make it feel much later than it is—and much more enchanting.
I realized yesterday that this summer has a lot to live up to.. as in Rome.  Then I realized that this blog is almost a year old.  Sometimes I get sentimental and/or forgetful and relive the few moments of my life I choose to blog about.  That is why I keep blogging.  The fact that people in my life care to read along is astonishingly heartwarming to me.
I really should sleep now because I really, really don’t want to get sick again and I haven’t slept in a few days.  The Fray is really amazingly perfect for my tired, retrospective but happy mood.  Although I have quoted this song in the past and although I am not sure how it quite fits this post, it does.  The whole song does in a very abstract, intangible way.
Therefore, I am not going to pull one meaningful line to seal up my thoughts as I usually (attempt to) do.  I am just going to ask you to press play.

Sneak Peek

In keeping with this week's trend of constant blogging (yes, it is finals week) I had to post something tonight.
GOOD NEWS.

I have a final in ten hours, I will not sleep much tonight and then I have to move out.  The good news is better than all of that.  Unfortunately, the good news will have to wait until I have a minute this weekend.
But it is really good news.

*Cough, Cough

Not feeling particularly motivated to study for my final that is in five hours, I decided to procrastinate by reading the news and a couple of blogs.

My favorite blog, "Good Morning and Goodnight", posted this today,

"The successful person makes a habit of doing what the failing person doesn't like to do"

So, basically, Thomas Edison is telling me to study.  I should probably go.

Some say life is a beezy.. maybe she's just misunderstood

So what I should be doing right now: studying.  What I should not be doing right now: blogging.
Glad we're clear on that.

This quarter has been a bit different than the others.  The polarity of the good and bad times was often painfully apparent and it seemed that all of my dear friends have had their own struggles.  Struggles ranged from mild annoyances to major life-identity issues.  We had to deal with living situations, workloads that were completely more than we ever thought we could handle, illnesses, family circumstances, our immediate and distant futures, to name a few.  Not to say this is harder than anything the world faces on a daily basis.  It was just new to us.  We all felt like we started growing up about twenty months ago and that the world insisted that we finish growing up-- now.

As cliche as it sounds, the victories were sweet.  They could not be overshadowed by the problems we faced, even if it felt like it at the time.

Today (like this past hour), I received what feels like the best news I have heard in awhile.  I may have a lab research position for summer and/or fall.  And it was all because I decided to go to a professor's office hours to review a midterm.. and happened to ask about research as I was walking out the door.

I often felt bitter towards God this quarter because the lows felt so low.  And when things were good I felt extremely grateful.  I know that as a Christian and as a person I need to work on this.  I need to learn to accept and deal with the bad times more efficiently.

The bad times, however, taught me so much about my family.  By family, I mean those related to me by genetics and those related to me by choice.  Everyone was so incredibly encouraging, loving and caring to me (and each other) through these times.  So to each and every one of you who I called to cry to or to tell good news to (while I talked at the speed of light), to those who have hugged me on a bad day, sent me a text to make me smile, or just listened to me babble, THANK YOU.

"Hold on to spinning around, Confetti falls to the ground, May these memories break or fall" --Taylor Swift.  And, yes, I have had the time of my life "fighting dragons" with all of you.  And it's just the beginning.

Iridescent

New Linkin Park song for Transformers 2.  Video is a little strange but song is absolutely beautiful.

Blended Brownies

It's a gorgeous Saturday afternoon and I'm sipping a hot coffee. I am surrounded by my humanities books in a coffee shop downtown. And, of course, with Yoyo.  Thankfully, our coffee/studying outings have become almost a weekly commonality.  I love these hours because we are relaxing, bonding, eating and even getting some work done.  Well we're getting work done when we're not blogging and photobooth-ing.

This is us.. being strange.

Finals really aren't so bad when you're suffering together.

"Ich bin mir absolut klar, Ich trag den Namen Monster" --Lady Gaga

Underdogs

Now this is a cool story:
Queen decorates Nepali for Afghanistan heroics

Just Because it's Monday

Our study breaks often involve food and watching some terrible made-for-tv movie.  Last week was no exception.  I think Michael turned to BET and we started watching "Juwanna Mann", a movie about a disgruntled NBA star who disguises himself and plays for the WNBA... it was surprisingly captivating but that may be attributed to the fried state of our brains.  But with cuteness such as, "I want a guy who will send me flowers just because it's Wednesday" and a feel-good ending, you just had to smile.

After a long, exhausting, stressful, emotional (welcome to tenth week of spring quarter), albeit wonderful weekend I woke up to some fresh, pink tulips-- I guess because it's Monday.

"We got nothing figured out, When it was hard to take, This is what I thought about" --Taylor Swift

"The West Wing"

"An artist's job is to captivate you for however long as we've asked for your attention. If we stumble into truth, we got lucky, and I don't get to decide what truth is..." --Tabatha Fortis

The Edge of Glory

I know posts have been sparse once again.. :/
But enjoy this cover of Gaga's new song. It is amazing.

The Ides of March and Its Madness

The swift arrival of March was accompanied by a glimmer of longer and warmer days, flowers, vibrant sunsets and the dreaded finals week.  The end of winter quarter always seems to drag on a bit longer than the rest, as does the end of the season.  Finals this quarter were stressful and oddly intense, but we all managed to get to the other side, greeted by the promise of spring break.

Mom decided it was time to get out of the bay for a few days as all of us really needed to step back and relax.  She spearheaded the effort and found a cabin to rent in Tahoe.  So much for a ‘bikinis and beach bags required’ spring break; we packed up snow boots, chains and emergency supplies.

It has been years since we went to the snow and it was Huck’s first time.  The bay was looking at rain for a week straight so the mountains (and thus the Wongs) were prepared for multiple feet of snow.  Soon enough we found ourselves lodged inside a snow-covered cabin.  Huck loved the snow at first sight and found it to be the most novel of treasures.  The immense amount of powder kindly lent itself to a bumbling yellow lab who leapt into and dug out of it—over and over and over again.  The powder was also great for skiing and boarding.  Mom and I went out and enjoyed the soft coating of snow as it protected our bums from any hard falls.

Dad and I played a lot of pool in the cabin with a tired dog at our heels and fresh cookies in the oven.  We even got mom to join in on a few games.

I distinctly remember waking up in the warm, fluffy covers, watching the snow fall outside.  The trees were covered perfectly, like icing on a gingerbread town.  The fireplace was humming softly in the corner and Huck was curled up nearby.  I couldn’t help the smile on my face (it makes me smile even now) as I thought about the perfectly picturesque scene.

I was lucky enough to see all of my friends back home, too, even though we all have different school schedules.  The visits seemed sadly brief, long enough, however, knowing that summer is just around the corner.

The whirlwind spring break is nearing a close as I look out the window of this 747 and see the mountains of central California, some of the higher ones just kissed by the snow.  We should be landing shortly and I will be on my way back to school.  Classes start tomorrow for what looks to be a great quarter.  If it is anything like this spring break, I will be more than happy.

“I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow, and each road leads you to where you want to go” –Rascal Flatts 

Photo Journey

This article and first video are definitely worth a look:
New Yorker’s mysterious photo quest ends in Paris

Tied with a Bow

After a particularly difficult and frustrating night, waking up to a text like this can change your day:
"check outside your door down to the right...a mocha for you.  Might be cold at this point though".

The smallest gestures can make the most significant impact, so thank you.

"All the phones have rung and rung, They're off the hook-- all but one, And all the mail stacked up inside, Up on the floor-- a mile high" --Angels and Airwaves

The Unexpected

The rain was drizzling just lightly enough to feel like a mist-- it was barely stinging when it hit my face.  I was holding my umbrella and my hood was down.

I felt like going for a walk when Mike was heading home so I asked if I could come with him.  When he told me it was raining, I told him that's what rain boots and umbrellas are for.  I didn't know why but I just wanted to talk and walk for a bit, kind of like those nights in Rome.

When we stepped out of the elevator I instinctively reached for the straps on the umbrella and suddenly stopped myself.  Anyone who knows me knows that I loathe rain-- I just find it terribly inconvenient and significantly less breathtaking than the sun setting on a warm day.  But tonight, I stand (albeit slightly) corrected.  The rain was absolutely gorgeous and, for once, I didn't care if my hair became a mess and my makeup ran halfway down my face.

I hope that everyone can take a walk with good company some night, stare at the (very, very light) rain (let's face it, this would be a bit challenging if it was pouring and nasty outside) and decide to simply put their umbrellas down.

"There's something about the way the street looks when it's just rained, There's a glow off the pavement..., And I don't know how it gets better than this, You take my hand and drag me headfirst, Fearless" --Taylor Swift

Character

Character is something that is always with you, it is obviously a part of you.
But having admirable character is easy when things are good.
It's those moments where time seems to freeze, the moment where you know everything has changed (a little or a lot) and where you begin to understand things are less than ideal, when character is stripped to its core.  All that remains is your character.  Any facades fall away and your attitudes and following actions are exponentially more significant.

My parents have taught me an incredible amount of things in my life; some through education, some through simple talks and many through example.  It's when things are less than ideal when I realize what incredible characters they both possess.  That is when I realize one of my aspirations, for my character to remain constant despite my circumstances so that it is nothing less than genuine.

"I am bending, Made of steel, I am stumbling, Towards something real, How can you forget this feeling?, Standing straight while the world is reeling?" --Better Than Ezra

Pop

I can't remember the quote perfectly but a professor here at UCSD is known for telling us that we are at the luckiest points of our lives to be young, poor and some other seemingly undesirable aspect of a nineteen year old's life in college.  There are times when I would whole-heartedly agree with him and others when I know I cannot appreciate his wisdom for many, many more years.
This time in anyone's life is funny.  In my case, the bubble of college, surrounded by thousands of people going through the same exact things I go through everyday.  Sometimes I find myself forgetting what life outside of this bubble is like and I am often reminded whenever I leave campus for a couple of days.  My mom came down and visited over the past three day weekend and we drove up to visit family.  We had a long breakfast with Aunt Daisy, Uncle Mike and her sister, brother-in-law and Jaclyn (basically my cousin) where we talked about Jaclyn's and my future.  Daisy's sister is a lawyer and she talked me through the next eight years of my life, if I choose to go down that path.  At first it was overwhelming to once again realize that these decisions are coming up so quickly.
I say once again because of the bubble.  All of my friends and peers here have been talking about their futures for some time now.  We all think we have a good idea of what we want and how to get there but we all have doubts.  We wonder what the chances are of us actually achieving our goals.  It can be scary.  But it can also be a powerful motivator and, honestly, it's pretty freaking exciting.
After that lengthy talk this weekend, I can say that I have a better idea of what lies ahead and I appreciate that immensely.  I know what I want and have a pretty good idea of the road to take.  The doubts are still there and will be for quite some time.  I will not be able to say with any degree of certainty that I am going to be a successful lawyer ten years from now until...about ten years from now.
But I know a few things.  I am always (whether at home or here in San Diego) surrounded by incredible people who love me and will support me to hell and back.  I know that ten years from now I want to be doing something that matters and I know that is more than possible.  I know that the doubts will never vanish but, from experience, I know they are a lot less powerful than they seem.
"My God, Amazing that we got this far, It's like we're chasing all those stars.. Tell me what you want to hear, something that were like all those years, I'm sick of all the insincere, So I'm gonna give all my secrets away" --One Republic

Maybe I Ought to Upgrade My Video Player.. Maybe Not

Not to sound all spacey and introspective but time is weird.  It is always dependent on your perspective and the whole thing gets a little crazy when your perspective is not constant.

Some of my favorite people, Welcome Week 2010:
Amy, Mike, Xinwei, Chhai and Ben (photo courtesy of Van)

Tonight was the first meeting for Revelle's Welcome Week Ambassador program.  I participated in the program this past year and knew it was something that I wanted to do again.  It was great seeing some familiar faces from last year and catching up with people.  About halfway through the meeting, my mind started racing.  I just couldn't believe that just over a year ago I was sitting in (probably) the same conference room with a few of the same people about to plan this annual event.  The idea baffled me and, for a time, I stopped listening to the meeting completely and tried to fathom how a year can go by that quickly, how so many things can change and how many things can stay exactly the same.

People generally agree that a year is roughly 365 days.  College students can agree that a year is three quarters (two semesters) and a summer.  My mind began acting like an old, kind of broken VCR.  No, not a DVD, Blu-Ray or other sort of digital media player.  A VCR.  It hit the rewind button (you remember when you could see the video playing backwards with all of those lines across the screen) then it stopped, abruptly, and began to play.  The year that had passed played back with intense clarity.  I remembered going to these meetings last year with the girls in my dorm and a few of the people in my building-- we just had to walk downstairs really.  I remembered all the people from freshman year, the Bible studies, clubs, classes, the biting cold, beautiful beach days, new faces, old faces, our obsession with pool at Roger's Place, Plaza Cafe food, and the discovery of coffee.  Time kept moving forward and I remembered the end of freshman year and summer.  I thought of this blog and was thankful to my old self for recording snippets of my experiences and I remembered all of the feelings of summer.  Finally, this year became super clear.  I remembered Welcome Week at the end of summer, starting school again, Christmas... then the 'video' came to a screeching halt in the present.
So much has changed yet so much has stayed the same.  I started thinking about how I am still surrounded by some of the most incredible people I have ever met and how I still miss home (and the rest of the most incredible people I have ever known) and how people have changed.  Then I found myself in that room again, realizing it was really time to start paying attention in the meeting.
So, in a way, a year ago feels completely intangible.  So far away and so full of memories that it is almost like watching a movie of someone else's life-- how could all of that happen in just one year??  In another way, however, I am still dumbfounded at how it is possible that an entire year has passed.
I can't complain.  I hope time continues to confound me whenever the opportunity arises.
"It's like my IPOD's stuck on replay" --Iyaz

Life in Pictures and Sunsets [Part 2]

Blogging is like a weird drug.  When you're on it, you can't stop it.
I suppose it is best to get this out of the way now.  But if you're reading this you probably already know... it's funny how that works.  I have a boyfriend.  It's pretty awesome having someone in your life that you can sit down to have a quick chat with... and not look at the clock until hours later to realize that the sun is about to rise.  The cool thing is we had that kind of friendship before this whole dating thing.  But, yes, he's pretty awesome.  But don't tell him I said so.
The day we decided to give dating a shot, we were at the zoo and saw this three month old cheetah cub. Not a bad sign, right?

The weather here in San Diego has been amazing and there have been sunsets to match.  No, this is not 'rose-colored glasses' talk, these sunsets are genuinely breathtaking.

<< A few minutes after sunset in Revelle, walking home after class with Amy

Dusk, overlooking the canyon in Warren college with the moon rising >>

Last weekend, I had a lovely and long overdue lunch date with my sister.  I was scheduled to pick up Mike that afternoon but he missed a train (or two) so I made my way down to Carlsbad State beach with a biological psychology book.  I spent a few hours out there lying on a bank of sand, reading and watching the sun make its way to the horizon.  My reward for a solid hour of reading was to explore the beach and take some pictures.  There is something amazingly blissful about being quiet and letting the sound of waves and beach-goers fill your mind as you walk down the shore.  It is almost better than retail therapy but I think I'm going to say this one is too close to call.

As I was driving down the coast and away from that incredibly peaceful place, windows down with Angels and Airwaves blasting, I kept thinking about the lady I had just talked to.  As I was leaving the beach, an older woman approached me.  I think she was staying at the beach with her family in the RV parked nearby.  She told me that she loved my car and that it reminded her of the old 'beetles' or "at least that's what we called them back in the day".  The look in her eye told me the memory of this car would always possess a special place in her heart.  We made some small talk and before I drove away I remember saying, "Thanks, have a good night.  And enjoy the sunset".  I know the fluffy, white vw with some killer black racing stripes will always have a special place in my heart, just as one of its ancestors' does in hers.  I hope that it may be the catalyst for some brief but meaningful interaction with a complete stranger someday.  And, mostly, I hope that everyone remembers to enjoy the sunset.

This post has a decidedly Jack Johnson/day by the beach feel...
"Do you remember when we first met? I sure do, it was sometime in early September, You were lazy about it, You made me wait around... So I was late for class"

Life in Pictures [Part 1]

I could start by saying sorry for being a terrible blogger..again.. but, at this point, it is probably unnecessary.

It's been awhile-- long enough to where I don't remember the things I wanted to write about here. But, thankfully, my camera does. There are about 200 pictures lying around from when I last blogged and I can almost put everything back together in my head. It really does seem like you can relive life through pictures.

Winter break came to a bittersweet end with a lovely trip back down to sunny San Diego with my mom. We stopped by *our* happiest pit stop on earth-- The Storybook Cafe in Disney's Grand Californian Hotel. We have an insane number of amazing memories from this place as it has always been the perfect escape from either a long, hot day in the theme park or a long, exhausting day driving.
She stayed in San Diego for a couple of days and got to relive college for awhile. I'm not too sure if she wanted the whole 'reliving college' bit. Amy and I will never forget the physics class she came to and the quote she left us with the night she flew out of San Diego (something along the lines of microwaving sour cream.. I'm guessing it is one of those moments where you just had to be there). I just hope she had as much fun as I did.

Once school started, it felt like life had decided to go back to the fast lane.  School got busy and my social life got busier.  But that's more than okay with me.

Sprinkles La Jolla finally held its grand opening after months of hype.  Shelby, Amy and Yoyo joined me at the grand opening where we waited a couple hours for cupcakes.  The company, sunshine, and (duhhh) the dark chocolate cupcakes were definitely worth the wait.

Amy and I would always talk about going clubbing together in San Diego.  We finally went.  It was definitely a great experience but not because clubbing is that great or anything.  It was one of those experiences where the company made all the difference.

That takes me about halfway through winter quarter and about halfway through the pictures.
Part two will follow shortly.

"So wake up, wake up dreaming"
--Ryan Star

Here and There

The concept of equilibrium is simple. In science, forces pull equally and oppositely to equal a zero net force on the object/particle/whatever. I randomly became obsessed with the meaning and ideas behind this word and its applications outside of science. According to Merriam-Webster, ‘equilibrium’ is from the Latin roots ‘weight’ and ‘balance’. I began unpacking the concept of equilibrium in my life and the concept as it applies to our society.
I realized my life is never in equilibrium. At first this thought terrified me—it just sounds bad. Who wouldn’t like to say that their life is perfectly balanced? Admitting that my life is unbalanced is socially comparable to saying I don’t like cheeseburgers, pizza and baseball.. and I think kittens are ugly. We are supposed to have our lives perfectly packaged. Our lives are to be presented to others as a well-written summary; preferably tied with a bow.
But my life is not in equilibrium. I go through days where I have class and homework for ten hours straight, days where I sleep through lunch and watch tv until dinner. Amazing people surround me, yet friendships are never in equilibrium either. I can eat grilled cheese for four days in a row, then want nothing besides smoothies for the next week. Middle ground seems to lack pure existence.
But I’m happy. So as socially unacceptable as this is, I would like to share this confession with you: my life is not in equilibrium and I like it.
"When we live such fragile lives, It's the best way we survive, I go around a time or two, Just to waste my time with you" --The All-American Rejects